Watch Netflix's Nappily Ever After with me! I'll share my thoughts as they pop into my head and we can discuss how right I am in the comments.
1. Lynn Whitfield is the queen of the "bougie black mama" in our movies!
2. Ahh, I remember those hot comb days, I flinch just seeing it on the screen, ouch!
3. Why didn't her mama bring a swim cap to a pool party tho?
4. Sanaa Lathan is aggressively gorgeous, like frfr!
5. Reminds me of Whitley when she got up to brush her teeth before Dwayne woke up when they first got married.
6. So you're saying you didn't put your scarf on 'til he went to sleep? If he ain't never seen you with a wrap/bonnet, it ain't real love, nope!
7. 5a, Mama? Really?
8. Now I know her hair smell like flat iron and pink lotion, chile please!
9. Ricky Whittle is fine as placenta-laden baby hair.
10. Ok, Ms. Ad Executive, though that pitch was just aight.
11. She is really paranoid about this potential rain, eat inside!
12. That wet wavy look is what err'body wearing now, she could've rocked it lol.
13. Your hair soaking wet, but your dress is still dry? Ok then...
14. Ma'am, how you sitting in the chair and ain't know what he planned to do?
15. Who child is this talking crazy?
16. She looking like Anna Mae Bullock in the shampoo bowl, LOL!
17. I'm sorry, what shampoo girl don't know the difference between relaxer and conditioner?! In a black salon at that?
18. Sir! Fuggumean mistakes happen?! Welp, I officially would own his life cuz I'm suing his whole lineage for this "mistake".
19. Got that sew-in done fast.
20. Ernie Hudson has achieved Cat Daddy status.
21. Umm, a dog tho, bruh? LMAO, I would've had the same face. That's not a gift, it's a burden.
22. It's been 2 years, and you don't know anything about her, whose fault is that?
23. AND TAKE THIS DAMN DOG WITH YOU!
24. Sis, we are better than this, we suck it up and do a bomb presentation, then cry with our girls; don't lose a man and your job.
25. So she's a saboteur and a shoplifter, this lil girl needs a whooping and therapy.
26. You took my hair out and almost got me arrested, Imma need you to watch your tone.
27. That dress look like she going to church, that's a "pray for me" outfit, not freak me.
28. Worst best friends ever! How they leave her with this strange ass man and let her go home with him?! Nope, you need new friends.
29. This whole evening is a fail.
30. The only reason to end a relationship is if he cheats or beats, Mr. Lyft Driver? How very 1950s of you.
31. Dude sucks, but that's a really nice closet. He didn't take any of his clothes or his clippers when he left? Yeah, he already had another place to lay his head, LOL!
32. Why she sound like the Joker in this pivotal scene?
33. Waymint! You called your dad cuz your mom fainted, he's comes over and sees you looking like you just escaped from Jigsaw and all he can say is, "don't call me to help your mother"?!?! Really?! She needs all new people in her life, they are all the worst!!!!
34. Girl! She thinks you have cancer! Violet is not very bright...
35. How did Zoe get her address? And you just show up at her house? Weird.
36. Her dad is a stylist but he can't braid his baby's hair?
37. And here we have another man telling a woman what she should feel or think about her hair and body, sigh.
38. Violet, that is not a date outfit, ugh!
39. Her mama can't just call or FaceTime, why she gotta come all the way to the house?
40. I'm so confused as to how much time has passed in this movie, is it 3 days or 3 months since her birthday?
41. She gonna have bees following her after that scalp rub...
42. He's already meeting the family? And you know how bougie your mama is? Girl, you set that man up for failure.
44. Mama is every level of bogus!
45. I'm always amazed at how ppl just quit jobs in movies. I need to check to see how long Imma have insurance before I make that move, tuh!
46. Again, I'm confused at the passage of time, you just now coming to get your stuff?! What?
47. One apology and he got the draws? Yeah, he is that fine tho.
48. We go together now? Wait, we engaged now? Uhhh, ok...
49. Once again, her friends suck. Someone is supposed to be side-eyeing the whole hell out of this situation!
50. You still hanging out with Zoe even though you don't talk to her dad anymore? #wheretheydothatat
51. Now you need perfection, when before it was a 2 year first date? Throw the whole man away.
52. The one time I agree with, Mama, why is this child here?
53. Checkmate, Zoe, we are outside!
54. Why didn't you get a less painful pair of shoes, ma'am?
55. You're comparing yourself to the life mantra of a 10 year old? She's 10!
56. You still mad about the pool thing? Therapy is a gift, but now you can't get it cuz you don't have insurance!
57. But she still wasn't what men wanted, 2 of them have left her in this movie, sooo...
58. A jump in the pool equals freedom, ok...
59. I know a whole lot of jewelry ended up in the bottom of that pool, pool boy bout to come up!
60. Much better pitch this time and hey John Salley! Hairdresser dude is still a lame tho.
Welp, I give it a C+/B-. What did you think?